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Very Dirty English Jokes – Man: Hey baby, what’s

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: Sure that isn’t “yield to merging traffic”? Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there thinks you’re a fat slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Probably because you’d be on your knees sucking my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine. Man: That’s cool, cause after I get done smackin’ it to you in the back of my car, I don’t give a fuck where you go. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I’m a female impersonator. Man: So that’s how you got that little mustache. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: No problem, I can always shoot my load on your back. Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing. Man: That works for me, as long as you’re still warm when I shove it up your ass. Man: Do you want to dance? Woman: No, I don’t want to dance, and I certainly don’t want to dance with you. Man: I think you misheard me. I said your ass looks fat in those pants.

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Updated: May 23, 2016 — 11:54 am

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