Jokes1 - Funny Jokes

Ladka Aur Ladki Jab First Meeting Karte Hai Unki Soch Ek Dusre Ke Liye Kya Hoti Hai.
Girl: “Kitna Sidha-Sadha Aur Bhola Ladka Hai”
Boy: “Kitni Sexy Bandi Hai, Boobs To Dekh Sali Ke”
Girl: “Kitna Nice Behaviour Hai”
Boy: “Gaand To Mast Hai Land Khada Ho Gaya”
Girl: “Dressing Style Bhi Zabardast Hai”
Boy: “Skirt Todi Aur Choti Hoti To Lund Khade Khade Ander Dal Deta”
Girl: “Agar Razi Ho Gaya To Isi Se Shadi Karungi”
Boy: “Bas Ek Bar Razi Ho Jaye, Chod Chod Ke Tasalli Bitha Dunga

Baap Ne Bade Pyaar Se Apne Bete Se Puchha
“Beta Tujhe Kaisi Biwi Chahiye?”
Beta: “Papa Jo Raat Ko Pari Ki Tarha Aaye Aur Subha Chup Chaap Chali Jaye”
Baap: “Bhonsdi Ke Wo Pariya Nahi, Randiya Hoti Hai”

Court Mein Pati Aur Patni Ke Divorce Ki Bahas Chal Rahi Thhi.
Bahas Ka Mudda Ye Thha Ki, Bachha Kiske Pass Rahega?
Wife Jumped Up And Said: “Your Honour! I Brought The Child Into This World With Pain & Labour So It Should Be In My Custody.”
The Judge Turns To Husband And Says: “What Do You Have To Say In Your Defence?”
The Husband Sat For A While Contemplating Then Slowly Rose.
“Your Honour. If I Put A Dollar In A Vending Machine And A Pepsi Comes Out, Whose Pepsi Is It? The Machine’S Or Mine?”
Yeh Sunke Wife Replied: “Judge Sahab Bartan Mera Doodh Bhi Mera Aur Usme Dahi Jamane Ke Liye 2 Boond Daalne Se Dahi Bana To Fir Wo Dahi Kiska? Mera Ya Do Boond Daalne Wale Ka”
Husband Replied: “Typewriter Mein Kagaz Maine Dala, Keys Daba-Daba Kar Mehnat Maine Ki, Fir Chithi Kiski? Typewriter Ki Ya Meri?”
Frustrated Judge (Getting Mad): “Abay Saale Agar Tu Chithi Haath Se Hi Likh Leta, Toh Yahaan Par Custody Ki Naubat Hi Na Aati.“

Ladki Ki Muskurahat Par Ek Sher
Ustad Chodumal Khan Saab Ne Ek Sher Likha Hai
Hamari Ek Muskuraht Pe Wo Apni Choot Marwa Baithe,
Hamari Ek Muskuraht Pe Wo Apni Choot Marwa Baithe,
Wo Chaddi Pahenne Hi Wale The Ke Hum Phir Se Muskra Bethe.

Punjabi Banda Usa Mein Rahta Tha Aur Vaha Usne Ek Tota Khairda Hua Tha.
Tota Roj Subha Utth Ke Bolta Tha: “Wake Up Sir, You Have To Go To Work”
Bandey Ko Kisi Vajah Se Punjab Mein Vapis Aana Pada, Aur Vo Tote Ko Bhi Apne Sath Le Aya
Ab Uska Tota Ye Bolta Hai
Tota: “Utth Oye Fuddi Deya, Aaj Bund Marwan Nahi Jana” (In Hindi: “Uth Sale Gaandu, Aaj Tune Gand Marwane Nahi Jana“)

Teri Aankho Mein Aansu Aur Chehre Pe Hasi Hai,
Wah..
Teri Aankho Mein Aansu Aur Chehre Pe Hasi Hai,
Aisa Lagta Hai Jaise Teri Lulli Zip Me Phasi Hai!

Jab Aapko Sandaas Na Aaye,
Aap Baithe Baithe Thak Jaye,
Pressure Bhi Na Ban Paye,
Yaad Karke Dekhna Hume Mere Dost
Shaayad Aapki Gand Hi Fatt Jaye

Jaunpur U.P. Ki Prakash Talkies Mein Bhojpuri Film Ka Ad.
“Bade Ghar Ki Bahu”
Ka Lijiye Maza,
Din Mein 4 Baar,
12, 3, 6 Aur 9,
Upar Ka 60,
Niche Ka 30,
Advance Booking Chalu!

Suhag Raat Wife: Piche Nahi Aage Dalte Hai
Sardar: Tuje Kaise Pata?
Wife: Mera Dost Mere Aage Se Dalta Tha
Sardar: Chup Kar Mera Dost Mere Pichhe Dalta Tha

Ameer Ne Ghareeb Admi Se Poocha:
“Yeh Batao K Sex Mehnat Hai Ya Maza?”
Ghareeb Bola:“Maza Hi Hoga Sahib”
“Warna Aap Log Ye B Hum Se Hi Krwatay.